1025 Fergus Ave
Mississauga, ON L5E

Found 2 reports:

We regret to inform you that one of our hairy gorillas has escaped the exhibit and has taken refuge in apartment 607! The gorilla has beaten the occupant of 607 (a racially motivated beating!) and is now using his name "Peter"

If you must visit "Peter" in 607, you are advised to take precautions to ensure that your safety remains intact. Call animal services and equip yourself with bananas and tranquilizer darts.

We radically assume that this individual has been involved in many other rac

ially motivated beatings.

Additionally, you are advised to call 311 and report the (complete lack of) evidence contained herein.


Zoo Management & Staff

see full report...

Peter in 607 is a chronic masterbater that enjoys fondling little children. I suggest that you keep your wee ones away from him.

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